ETTA (by ansinico)

Adam’s words flooded Etta’s mind with even more turmoil. A desperate longing overwhelmed her for the only love she had known or would ever know. She had been selfish. She had wanted to keep this idyllic existence. She wanted to keep this fairy tale from ending. Knowing that she, if she had been truthful, though she had not been untruthful. If she had told the man from the start. From the very beginning. That though, would not have been possible. For she had known at the first sight of the man that he would be in her heart forever. At the beginning to have spoken out. She would have not known or felt the feel and touch of his hand in hers. His fingers stroking her cheek. His lips upon her lips. His body, strong, powerful, tender and giving. She would have known none of this. For even this short time, she had known how it felt to love and be loved. Now it was over…It should never have been….she was a fool to think that this could go on forever.

At first Adam was sure that his words had restored the woman to him. He felt her body relax and soften. He cupped her chin in his fingers and brought her mouth to his. Their kiss was tender. The moment lasted less than it took for a snowflake to melt on a warm cheek. She pushed away from him. Adam’s arms dropped to his sides.

“For God’s sake Etta speak to me. Tell me, your silence is tearing me apart”. Etta took another step away. She was now backed up against the end wall. She lowered her head. She couldn’t bear to see the pain reflected in those tawny orbs.

“l am not worthy of your love Adam…not worthy of you. I can never be the woman you expect me to be”. Adam was dumbfounded, speechless. Etta continued “you are a man of high ideals and morals,” she paused giving him a fleeting coy look from under long lashes. Adam met her gaze and was well aware of her implication.

“There is nothing Etta that you or l could have done to stop…”

“Adam, please, let me finish. Then you can cast me aside.” Not believing her words Adam took a step forward. She raised her hands in a plea of surrender. “Adam, please, if you come any nearer to me l will not have the courage”. There was much more that he wanted to say, he acquiesced. He took a step backward and once again leaned his shoulder against the wooden upright of the shelving. “Adam you told me of the time you were held against your will. You did not waver. You held onto your beliefs. The laws, rules and regulations of your God and of this country you live in and abide by.

‘Thou shalt not kill’

‘Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord’

l, Adam am guilty of both. I have killed out of vengeance.” they stared at each other. The silence was cutting. The atmosphere thick enough to curdle the milk that filled the bucket on the slab beside Adam’s foot. He could only think that Etta was referring to the soldier that had raped her.

“My God Etta you were ten years old…a child.” he tried to reason with her. If the man, no, he was not a man. If he, or it, was in front of him at this very moment, he would not hesitate to strike, and kill if need be.

“No.” Etta’s voice was toneless, flat, without any emotion. “It was five years later. The night before l left the Reservation. I, with premeditation, deliberately killed a human being”. There were no tears. Etta was as if she were made of stone. Nothing could have stopped Adam reaching out for her. She was rigid. Adam drew her into him. Wrapped his arms about her. She made no sign that she felt his embrace. No sign that she felt anything.

“Tell me.” he whispered “tell me everything”.

And so she did, in bits and pieces. Between moments of awful silence. Adam felt sure that it was the first time she had spoken of the traumatic incident. The first time he had returned to the reservation, she had recognised the soldier. . The singular scar he had on his neck and face resembled a snake. She was lucky, she could avoid him, living as she did with the Pastor and his wife. Many other young girls were not so lucky. On this day he had gone to the Mission Hospital complaining of a sick stomach. Doctor Tone had asked Etta to make up a potion. Something she was capable of doing and had done so on many occasions. A simple mixture of quinine, mint and other herbs. Etta had added extract of Bella Donna, a lethal poison, enough to kill a bull. The next morning she and Matthew Tone left.

Etta looked up at Adam, her deep, green pools as blank and dispassionate as her voice.

“So Adam Cartwright, do you want or need a murderess as a wife and mother to your children. I think not. We have been lovers. I will never forget you. You are in my heart forever. In two days you will leave. For me these are the only two days left of my life. Our time together, though short, will fill the rest of my days with happiness”.

Adam shook his head. He held Etta at arms length. His hands gripping her shoulders. He would be damned rather than let anything come between him and this woman. Their love meant more than life itself.

“We can find a way around this…there has to be a way. Believe in me Etta. You will be my wife…if that is what you truly want?”

A polite cough turned both Etta and Adam’s heads. Hoss stood in the door way. His large frame not hardly able to enter the room without having to bend at the head or knee. He stayed on the thresh hold.

“l aint wanting ter butt in…looks as if we got visitors.”

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Author: ansinico

1 thought on “ETTA (by ansinico)

  1. That was terrific. I like Etta – she is the perfect foil for Adam.
    Please let’s have more of this story.

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