Dec 15

“Oh yes, you have CMT.” Perusing my chart, my doctor looked decidedly embarrassed. “Remind me again just what that is?”

It was nothing new. Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease (CMT) is a subject most physicians cover briefly in medical school, and never encouter in actual practice.

CMT affects about 150,000 Americans and is the most common inherited neuropathy. It affects the peripheral nerves — those in the lower legs and feet, but sometimes the arms and hands, too. There is no cure. The nerves become progressively damaged, which causes the muscles to deteriorate and shrink.

My mother was born with this condition, along with several of her 12 siblings. She generously passed it on to all seven of her children.

We were all pretty dorky as kids. All seven of us had painfully thin ankles, highly arched feet, and severe physiological foot drop (where the foot tends to point downward). These combined traits made us pitifully slow runners, and we had a weird way of walking. In order to keep from stubbing our toes while walking, we would forcefully lift our knees with each step and slam down our heels. It resembled marching and was extremely loud. People could recognize the Haislip kids from a block away because of this distinct, noisy gait.

Trips to visit my mother’s family in Wisconsin each summer were comforting as a child, because we were among fellow dorks. We could hang out with aunts and uncles and cousins who walked and ran as we did, and no one told us we looked strange. Our family reunions must have been quite a sight for passers-by.

The funny thing is, we never knew it was a disease. None of us had ever heard of CMT. It was just the way we were.

In 1995, our family received its first diagnosis of CMT. First a brother, then my mother, then me. In time all of us were properly diagnosed and we discovered that this was a real, actual disease.

There were fancy medical explanations for all of our odd qualities. Our thin ankles and high arches were caused by muscle wasting and shrinking. Our funny walk is what medical experts call a slapping gait. We learned that it was hereditary, and that it would get worse.

We also learned that there were others out there like us. There is a national association for CMT sufferers, the CMTA. We found out that CMT was one of several neuromuscular conditions sponsored by the Muscular Dystrophy Association–Jerry’s kids. My mother founded a local support group and has become a resource for fellow CMT patients in our area.

The high incidence of CMT in my immediate and extended families caught the attention of Dr. Florian Thomas of the Department of Neurology at St. Louis University. At his urging, our families volunteered to take part in a research study of CMT conducted by him and several of his associates around the country.

In the past few years we have repeatedly surrendered blood and even tissue samples and undergone often uncomfortable nerve testing. All this in order to locate the genetic flaw that causes CMT and possibly lead to a cure.

During the course of his study, Dr. Thomas discovered that our family has a form of CMT that has never been seen before, save for a single family in Bulgaria. The research study is still in progress, but in the meantime, much has been learned about this condition and its etiology.

It’s enough to make a family feel needed and important.

And definitely not dorky.

Nov 27

Okay, per request, I’m posting one of my columns here. A few years back I wrote for a local paper - one of several guest columnists called Opinion Shapers, and we were allowed to write on any subject we wanted, big or small. This was my very first; hope you enjoy!

They are coming. I can hear them stomping noisily down the hall several moments before they come into view.

It is Tuesday, just shy of 11 a.m., and Amy Byer’s first-grade class at Westhoff Elementary School is ready for lunch.

I juggle two drinks and Happy Meal boxes and wait. After a second or two, Sara catches sight of me. Her baby-fine blonde hair is a tousled mess, as usual, and one of her shoes is untied, but she is oblivious. She breaks into a sprint to welcome me. Mrs. Byers, ever understanding, smiles and waves her on.

It is probably my third time in a month that I am meeting my lunch date here. Sara, age 7, is my baby, and as such is a little more indulged than her older sisters. Okay, more than a little. She doesn’t greet me, just grabs my arm and leads me to a prime spot at the lunch table.

Other students trickle in, some with trays, some with colorful lunch boxes. Many of them recognize me from previous lunch dates and greet me. Here, I am not Lisa, not even Mrs. Minzer. I am Sara’s mom.

Students from other first-grade classes file in and take their seats at the long lunch tables. Before long, the room is a discordant symphony of high-pitched voices, giggles, and shrieks. Adult monitors zigzag about, offering assistance and murmuring softly to them, chastising when necessary (”No, Jimmy, we do not throw raisins here.”) Custodians linger nearby, mops at the ready, no doubt dreading the spills this lively crew can leave behind.

Children can instinctively sense a mom in their midst, and I am quickly handed various cartons of milk and juice and packages of chips and granola bars to open. Some wait for the roving adult monitors to assist them; the rest just use their teeth.

Lunch with first-graders is like no other experience. Most have their coats on and zipped up for recess; some are even wearing gloves. They sport uneven-looking grins; nearly all are at some stage of growing new front teeth.

The boys and girls sit beside each other easily — none have been infected with cooties yet. They can be sticky and untidy; juice and milk dribble down their chins unheeded. Crumbs litter their lips as they chatter between bites.

One little boy laughs when he accidentally spills juice on his shirt, and his friend nearby pours juice on his own shirt so they can match.

Strange eating habits abound. This groups loves to play with their food. They nibble cheese slices or bread into funny shapes and show them to each other. One boy smashes an entire banana with his fist inside his lunch box. “Too brown,” he explains. The little girl beside me demonstrates how she can cleverly lap up every drop of her applesauce without even using a spoon.

Several toss aside healthy sandwiches and carrot sticks to dig into the puddings or Twinkies. One boy opens his sandwich, ditches the bread, and bites into the bologna. Must be on Atkins.

Sara munches her McNuggets with her typical eight packets of ketchup. She talks excitedly about the song the children learned in music class the day before, then begins to sing it. Eight or nine classmates join in — loudly. Then they become distracted and dissolve into a fit of giggles because someone has said the “F” word - fart. (If you didn’t already know, fart is the most hilarious word in the English language to a 7-year- old, followed closely by butt, booger, underwear, and poop.)

We eat and chat together for 20 minutes or so, then it is time to leave. After a good deal of prompting, the children quiet down and we are cleared to leave the table by the monitor. Sara and I deposit our trash into one of the huge dumpsters near the door. Then she skips over to join her classmates in line. They are wiggly and pushing against each other, quivery in anticipation of recess.

I step over to Sara and bend down to whisper goodbye; she brushes my cheek with a reluctant kiss. Her lips are still moist with chocolate milk.

At the office, I sign myself out and turn in my clip-on visitor’s pass. As I leave the building I am struck by the contrast of the quiet parking lot after the roar of children inside. I smile to myself and sigh. This is the time I get a little wistful, wishing I had shared this lovely ritual with my older daughters more often when they were this young. I guess I didn’t know or appreciate what I was missing. But lunch at school with Mom is too uncool for them now, just as it will be for Sara in a year or two.

Life is short.

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the first-graders.

Nov 18

My family is a bit weirded out over the whole Bonanza thing. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. How else should I expect them to act when their cherished big sis suddenly develops some crazed obsession with a 60’s era television show? It’s not like I’ve been a lifelong fan or anything - they can’t very well say “Oh yeah, Lisa used to watch that show all the time when she was a kid. Remember all those Little Joe pictures in her room?”

It’s a long, boring story about how I became so interested in the show, but the forums and the people I’ve met have become important to me, and sometimes it bothers me not being able to talk about it without family members rolling their eyes and wearing that patronizing little “uh oh, here she goes again” smile. The worst of the bunch is my youngest sister, Barb. Oh, I know she doesn’t mean any harm by her teasing me about it, and maybe I’m too sensitive, but it sometimes hurts my feelings.

She spent a day with me last week, and she was bemoaning the fact that I don’t write anymore and it’s such a waste that I’m not using my talents. So, I did what I vowed never to do: I told her about my fanfic. It’s probably a big mistake. Boy, will she ever have something to gossip about behind my back to the rest of the family. Can’t wait to see the smirks that will rise out of that little tidbit of information.

I showed her one of my stories - a fluffy little Christmas piece called The Yellow-Haired Angel. It’s probably the most mainstream of my stories. Can’t imagine having to explain my love for sufferin’ Joe on top of everything else. She liked it - or she said she did, anyway - and asked if I had written any others. I mumbled “A few,” and quickly logged out of the site.

So, guess what little sister has done now? She’s gone onto BW and created a login for herself in the library, for the sole purpose of reading the rest of my stories. And yeah, I know it’s her. Even has her last name in the login name.

What now? Dang, talk about feeling vulnerable. She’s going to go in and read these stories - chock-full of sufferin’ Joe, mind you - and God knows what kind of impression she’s going to get from that. Guess I should have seen it coming.

Next family gathering should be interesting….

Nov 18

Okay. Now I’m not sure what qualifications you need to be a school photographer. I don’t know if these individuals were photography majors who took jobs shooting portraits of kids because that Time magazine career didn’t quite pan out, or if people set out to take on this job as a profession. Doesn’t matter anyway. I know they’re overworked and probably underpaid, and don’t have time to make sure every little barrette is straight and every cowlick is combed flat, but geez. Did anyone notice that Sara’s headband is laying on top of her forehead? My youngest daughter rarely takes a good school picture anyway (sorry, Sara); the pretty blonde hair that I so meticulously style for her on picture day usually turns into a matted mess by the time she boards the school bus. I wonder why I even bother.

Still, she happily hands out the wallet-sized photos to her friends, oblivious for the moment that she looks a bit dorky. My mom keeps asking for her own copy to hang on her wall with the pictures of all her other grandchildren, but I keep putting her off. I believe this picture will join last year’s wild-haired portrait in my picture box, where we can pull it out in a few years and wonder again why the photographer didn’t nudge that little white headband back in place. Maybe I’ll just give the whole package to Sara and say “Have at it, kid,” and she can pin them all over her room.

I hope next year’s pic turns out okay. Think I’ll leave out the headband, though.

Oct 7

Okay, so I’ll never make fun of cheerleaders again.

I was kinda nerdy in high school - yeah, go figure. I was quiet and shy and wore these awful glasses that my Mom picked out for me; one of those kids that the teachers always called on first in class. Cheerleaders rarely gave kids like me more than a passing glance in the hallways as they made their way from one spunky activity to another. We all wore the same cranberry plaid school uniforms, but cheerleaders even managed to make their uniforms look cute. Each one of them had raised the hem several inches above what was allowed by school regulations, but the nuns always seemed to look the other way. Just another part of the cheerleaders’ charmed academic existence.

If you were a nerd, you usually outwardly dismissed the peppy group as a bunch of airheaded bimbos (Oh, and did I mention? Nearly all of them were blonde. I think it was a pre-req.)

But secretly, cheerleaders were exotic and intriguing to me. They’d wear their teeny little cheerleader uniforms to school on game days, baring perfectly tanned, smooth, muscular legs. I loved their legs most of all. Don’t know why. Maybe because they seemed to be such a delicious contrast to my own scrawny legs that always seemed to have a sock losing its elastic.

After I left high school behind and became a wife and mother, I rarely gave cheerleaders more than a passing thought. Well, until last year, when my daughter joined their ranks on the freshman squad.

It really opened my eyes to how hard these little girls work. Christie is now on the JV squad, and cheers for every football, soccer, and basketball (girls and boys) game, home and away, and also for wrestling. Yeah, wrestling. How do you cheer for that? On days she doesn’t have a game, it’s practice, practice, practice. Summers, too. Oh, and don’t forget the fundraisers and school events and parades that she has to show up for to promote that Panther pride. Sometimes she’s still awake at midnight, still wearing the bright green and yellow uniform, finishing her homework.

I left work early last night to watch her. As I found my seat in the bleachers, she looked up at me with an odd mixture of embarrassment and pride that I’ve come. I try not to look her directly in the eye when she’s in the middle of a cheer; don’t want to mess up the routine. Everyone knows that I’m a cheerleader mom, because I’m the only one who claps after every cheer. Tim rolls his eyes when I do that. Good thing for Chris that my camera’s battery was low, or else she would have been really embarrassed. Christie is what’s called a flyer - one of those tiny little cheerleaders that gets flung up in the air a lot or balances neatly on one leg on top of the pyramids. Tim covers his eyes during those sequences; I revel in it.

Football season is almost over, but basketball will be starting up soon. And wrestling, too. It’s gonna be a busy, busy fall.

But such is the life of a cheerleader mom.

Oct 7

This is soooo hard. I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this. I’ve never blogged before (obviously), and when I go up to that dashboard thingy to try and figure it out, my eyes start to cross. I don’t understand the terminology (what are tags, for crying out loud? And trackbacks? What are those?). I might as well be trying to read hieroglyphics. This may not be for me. I’ll let the twenty-somethings deal with this technology while I go off and read some fanfic to clear my head. Maybe I’ll be back. Maybe.

Oct 6

This is my new fanfic blog! I’ll be coming here to post WIP (Work-In-Progress) stories as well as short vignettes that may or may not be posted in the fanfiction library. I’ve organized all my stories by title groups under the categories section of the sidebar so they’re easiest to find. I’ll also be posting random posts about my life as well so look for those as well. Hope to see you stop by and comment! :D