I also agree that in The Secret, Ben was NOT happy when he questioned Joe, and some major **** would have hit the fan if Joe had answered, “Well, maybe…” But the very fact that Ben felt he had to ask the question shows that there was some question or doubt in his mind.

I certainly don’t think it’s crazy to think that the Cartwrights were abstinent. Likely? For many reasons, I tend not to think so. But impossible? Certainly not. It is quite possible.

Like you, I believe that sex belongs solely within marriage between a man and a woman. It’s not a recreational activity for everyone to indulge in at will as so many people seem to believe. But I also know that people do make mistakes, and some of those mistakes involve sex, even among those who strongly believe it is for marriage only (and I think the Cartwrights probably felt that way.) And we all know that the Cartwrights, particulaly Joe, were not above making a mistake here and there. I’m not saying they absolutely had sex; I’m just saying the possibility can’t be ruled out. And remember, Joe did move out of the house and into town to be near a known madam and prostitute–that’s some pretty strong evidence against total innocence.

See, it’s no wonder we’ve been thinking about it–it’s a tough subject requiring a lot of careful thought. I know what you mean about some topics being explosive on the forums; people can’t always see the other side of things, and they get their feelings hurt sometimes. It’s really too bad, because it is a fascinating topic.

I’m really glad you took the time to read my post and write such an in depth response in such a kind and conversational way. I often find when things like this are brought up on forums, it can lead some intense confrontation and doesn’t always end up the best.

To answer your first question as to whether it’s the sex in their lives or in stories that bothers me, I’d have to say it depends. Now obviously in the show, the Cartwright boys were predominantly bachelors. We have Joe getting married in the 14th season, and he and his wife are expecting soon after. I don’t think I have to go any further there because we all know how babies are made ; ), so in that context, no, it doesn’t bother me. They were married, and it was off screen. As for writing it into stories, that does bother me. Personally, I don’t really believe it’s necessary in any story. Of course, I have the option as a reader not to read a story like that, which is often what I choose. But, that being said, there have been times when I’ve been reading a great story that suddenly throws in a sex scene. It all but ruins how I view that story from then on.

I can see your point on people being interested in “that part of their lives”, but once again, I argue on the sake of morals and what I believe is right. I’ve been taught and I firmly believe that the relationship between a man and a woman is a sacred thing that should be born solely out of marriage. Is this a widely accepted concept today? Not in the least. Is it always easy? Not at all. But if it were, would it really be worth standing up for?

As for the boundaries of the show, I think for some they are more obvious than others. For me personally, I get tired of the endless parade of crap forced down my throat day in and day out by every TV show not on PBS or TVLand. That’s one of the reasons I fell in love with Bonanza. Here was a show that could make me laugh out loud about something other than sex or the human anatomy, could get me so caught up that I’m talking to the TV, and had characters that I could love and see most of my morals reflected in. I agree that there were provocative situations on the show, but it’s the attitude with which these are approached that makes this show different. As for “The Secret”, the episode you mentioned in which Joe is accused of getting a girl pregnant, I saw nothing but disapproval for the girl’s actions. The father was furious, Doctor Paul was clearly not for it as he said asked if she was married and then said that “she should’ve been” (might I note that the music at this particular quote also is very dramatic, giving the viewer the sense of it being wrong), and I truly believe that Ben didn’t look happy when he questioned Joe. This attitude is completely contrary to everything teens are shown and taught today on modern programming.

So, all of that to say that I personally believe that there are boundaries in Bonanza; especially for those of us who look for that type of thing in our viewing. They aren’t solid walls by any means, letting people take what artistic liberties they will, but I think if you truly listen to the words in the scripts, watch the characters’ reactions to things, and remember that this was a wholesome family show, the Cartwrights being abstinent doesn’t seem like such a crazy idea.

I hope I covered all of your questions. If I didn’t, please let me know! I love being able to discuss these types of things when I get the chance. Thank you again for commenting!

Second, you’ve just hit upon a topic which I’ve thought a lot about in the past, and increasingly so lately, as I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a story that goes into that part of the Cartwrights’ lives. Mind you, so far I’ve written nothing that could remotely be conceived as a romance, with the possible exception of a short little thing called ‘Which Brother?’ which consists entirely of a scene with Adam and a lady friend. But the heaviest thing that goes on in that one is flirtation. When something more intimate happens at the very end, it is entirely “off-camera”. Also, just how intimate they are remains to be determined by the reader.

I know some people think the Cartwrights, being viral and very handsome men, had fairly active sex lives. There are others who believe they would never have sex outside of marriage. I myself fall somewhere in the middle; I think, being cowboys exposed to life in a rough-and-tumble western mining town, chances are pretty good that they would have had a few “experiences”, but I don’t think they were having sex on a regular basis, either. I’d like to ask, Alyssa—is it the assumption of sex in their lives at all that bothers you, or the idea of it being bluntly laid out on the page in an indelicate fashion? Without knowing this, I don’t feel I can accurately answer the questions you’ve proposed, not completely, anyway.

As to why some writers want to write about the Cartwrights and sex, I think it’s mostly because they are simply interested in that part of their lives. Just as some writers like to speculate on Adam’s relationship with Marie, or Joe’s relationship with Hop Sing, or what happened to Ben and Adam during their journey west, some people wonder what that “other” part of the Cartwrights’ lives were like. Granted, I think it takes a special writer to be able to address that in a way that doesn’t make it seem cheap and tawdry.

This question, though, does confuse me a bit: “This leads me to ask whether an author is really being true to the characters if they have them engaging in romantic activities that go beyond the obvious boundaries set forth in the show?” What exactly were the “obvious” boundaries set forth in the show? I didn’t think the show really set any boundaries, and certainly not obvious ones. Joe especially was seen in some pretty provocative situations (just look at the lake scene in ‘The Frenchman’, and in one ep, was even questioned by Ben as to whether he could possibly have gotten a girl pregnant.

The show didn’t set forth any boundaries that I can see, so I’d love for you to go into that a bit more. We were never shown a toilet on the show, either, but we know they used one. Should we want to write or read about the Cartwrights’ outhouse? Well, certainly some have. I think the reason why some writers choose to delve into sex (and some readers want them to) comes down to personal preference. As I said, though, I think it takes a special writer to handle the topic well, and that means being able to bring out the truly important aspect of sex—emotion and feeling.

Excellent topic to blog about!